Posts Tagged ‘job’

Honduras: Lets go to your house and watch pornos.

Me: No.

Honduras: Why?

Me: Because I’m going to get hard, then I’m going to look at you and throw up.

This is at work. Obviously, I’m very professional and class act.


Today at work my boss told Tom to make a cheese tray. About 30 minutes later

Tom : Hey, do you think this tray looks good?

Me : Yeah, looks nice.

Tom : I feel like it could use another kind of cheese.

Me : Well, you could use fromunda cheese… people LOVE fromunda cheese!!!

Tom: You are so disgusting!! What the fuck is wrong with you??? Why would someone eat fromunda cheese???

Me: *laughing*

I think…

Posted: 06/18/2012 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , , ,

Tom: Do you think I’m impatient?

Me: I think you’re a cranky old twat.

Paul: Jeez, that was harsh….

Ok so I have to be honest, I’m not a big believer in haunting (I know… shocking, I don’t believe in something I can’t see) I believe in ghosts, I just don’t think they’re as common as people say. So, when people said that my job was haunted, I didn’t really believe them. But then yesterday while I was at work I saw a tubaware lid fly off the counter as if someone threw it. But when I went to check there was no one there. The first words out of my mouth were “That’s not possible.” Then the dishwasher asked what I said I explained he just laughed and said that it happens all the time. Then an hour later I was spin drying the salads when randomly the cord comes unplugged then i notice the door to the dining area moving. So I thought on Ghost Adventures they talk to the spirits. So, I did, I said “If you’re a spirit moving the door, move it faster. Push it harder.” And IT DID. It was awesome! But to be honest kinda scary… Idk just thought I’d share.

At my thanksgiving lunch at my work the regional chef who isb like my mentor he is showing me the ropes and shit calls me up in front of EVERYONE. And keep in mind in totally afraid of that because I’m not appropriate… at all. I once failed a speech for screaming “DON’T FUCKING RECYCLE!!!” because i got caught up in the moment. ( Side note: I’m not against recycling. Quite the opposite, i just doing believe on conforming to what society says, whether used what jeans you wear or how to dispose of your plastic.) i always get nervous and do something stupid like swear or saying something inappropriate. I don’t mean to it just happens. Well anyway he calls me up there and hands me $50 in ones and tells me to ‘Make it rain’ i mouth ‘ what the fuck is wrong with you?.’ I really hope the camera didnt pick it up. ( did i forget to mention this is being recorded?) So i turned all red and stand there like what the fuck do i do. Then he leans in for a hug so i have to hug him right i can’t be a douche bag on camera after he just handed me $50. Then he whispers in my ear “we’re going to go to the titty bar and you’re going to get your dick wet.” And keep in mind he’s been asking to take me to one for a while now and i always say no because my friend got pink eye from one once and i swore I’d never step foot in one. (True story by the way). It was probably one of the most awkward moment ever