What could have been

Posted: 11/04/2011 in Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

This is going to be a sad story just FYI

I was almost adopted when i was 16. I was just placed at a temporary shelter in a the middle of no where after being kicked out of my 4th foster home. I hated everything. Life. Myself. Everything. Then i met her. Her name is Alicia. (Real name) and she was one of the staff at the shelter. She was nice, funny, sweet, but not really smart. Like at all, her and get husband had been trying to have kids for about 10 years with no luck. We became really close that when she decided to try to adopt me. We had known each other about 2 months set that point. Then i had to leave cuz you couldn’t stay there for more than 3 months. She promised me that she would adopt me i even met her husband and picked out what room i wanted and everything, but it never happened. I must assumed that she decided she didn’t want me after all. Truth is that my case worker had told her that i decided not to be adopted after all. Which was a lie, i wanted that so bad. More than anything in the world. I’m tearing up just thinking about it. I know what you guys are thinking. Why would my case worker do that? Isn’t there job to do what’s best for the kids? Yeah, that’s in theory, but reality never works that way. She was with a guy who beat the shit of of her and her kids for a long time. And she stayed cuz she loved him. And in her fucked up and broken mind she believed all guys are like that. She’d rather believe all the men in the world are abusive assholes then realize that she’s broken. That’s why she did what she did. I’m a guy so i must be abusive. Why should i deserve a single moment of happiness? Maybe one day i’ll forgive her. Or maybe not. Who knows? All i know is if you’re reading this Ms.Alicia, I’m sorry for any pain or hurt you felt because of what happened.

And just FYI this is the first time I’ve ever told this story.


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